Wednesday 12 September 2007

Working Late

Last night I had to work late to make up for all the time I have been spending on wedding plans in the last few months. It got to that stage when there was only me and 2 other girls in the office and we were all nearly heading home. In the end we went to the local pub for one glass of wine before getting on the tube (this happens far too often!).

Over the wine everything suddenly came tumbling out. I don't know whether it is writing this blog or just having spent time looking into CDD recently but I suddenly needed to know what people's reaction would be. Luckily as I was only having one glass of wine I managed to disguise my own situation as that of a friend (probably very easy to see through). The 2 girls were really shocked and just thought my 'friend' was involved in some sort of fetish. I got a bit defensive (in my mind I wanted to get much more so) but they wouldn't be swayed.

I want to talk to my real friends, the people I've grown up with, talked to about everything since childhood but this early brush has made it seem impossible. I think I am going to have to work on my explanations. I think I was a bit heavy on the punishment side and didn't say enough about submission. How do you explain that CDD is not a fetish and not even sexually orientated when that is what peope assume because of the way things are portrayed these days?

I just need a normal day where I don't make my own life more difficult or have anyone ringing me about wedding plans. I'm exhausted and for the first time getting stressed. I don't want to turn into a bridezilla or a totally different person.

On the plus side, thank you all for your kind and helpful comments. I'm going to keep re-reading them to get some perspective (hopefully).

Gee x

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